Everyone Struggles
May 7, 2024
Grayce Nist | Writing Center Tutor
Labeling is a mental strategy that simplifies concepts in our brain. It allows us to categorize ourselves and others into groups so that our brain can make better assumptions and process life around us. Yet, while this trick of our mind can sometimes be a good thing, labeling can also be harmful to the way we think of ourselves and others.
“You’re not trying.” “Why can’t you get this?” “Study more, work harder.” “It’s easy, anyone can do it.” These comments haunted my ears for years as I struggled to understand the most basic math and science concepts from elementary school through college. I watched as friends and peers grasped concepts easily after watching teachers do a single example, while I poured over the textbook, watched videos on YouTube, and worked with a tutor and still did not understand the concepts.
"I must be stupid.” “I am so bad at math.” “Science is easy for everyone else, what is wrong with me?” “I should just give up.” This internal dialogue looped in my mind as a constant shadow throughout the years of 9 – 19.
English had always been my safe space; it was easy to read and to want to read. Analyzing texts felt more like putting a puzzle together than work and writing was simple and just flowed naturally from my thoughts. Yet, as easy as it was for me, it never occurred to me that being a good writer and a stronger reader made me smart. It was easier to dwell on the negatives I had in school and to just label myself as dumb, stupid, and bad at school in general.
All of this changed my sophomore year after a professor gave me the boost of confidence I needed to change my way of thinking. The professor had recommended that I work as a writing tutor at Xavier’s Writing Center.
At first, this blew my mind. Me? A tutor? Tutors are smart, they’re good at school; I wasn’t any of that. However, as I explained my doubts to this professor, she smiled and took the time to explain to me that struggling in one or two subjects did not make me stupid or dumb.
“Everyone struggles. You are a strong writer and a good reader. We all have our own strengths.” After this encouraging encounter, I spent a long time reflecting on what she said, and I did end up becoming a writing tutor.
To this day, I love helping people with papers—the analyzing, formatting, and citations. Yet, as I tutor, I hear lots of people come in and tell me, “I’m not good at writing.” “I am a bad writer.” “I am bad at English.” Every time I hear this, I think about what that professor once told me and then I reassure the person that they are not “bad,” but some things are more difficult for us than others and reassure them that we are going to break it down together. I also try to remind people how smart they are and to highlight their strengths because labeling oneself as “bad,” or “stupid,” can lead to drastic effects on one’s self esteem.
After all, struggling does not make you stupid or dumb. Those who make the attempt in the face of struggle are the strongest of us all.
